107 - Anxious-Avoidant

I have to set him free
with the understanding
he will never fly back to me.

Sometimes I think I am
the loneliest person in the world.
Other times I think I thrive in it.

Moments of missing him so much
I'm blue in the face.
The air feels tight in my throat.
All this false hope and dark corners
with flickering lights.
But I'm moving on with my life.
Though sometimes I spin in my thoughts.
He brought out the escape artist in me.
Glamorize that party girl. May she rest in peace.
So high I couldn't see straight.
But he told me I made fucked up look sexy.
Whiskey in his hand.
Little did he know, he was the most
intoxicating of all.
Fall asleep forehead to forehead.
I would have crawled into the space where
his heart used to be.
But he preferred it empty in there.

So I have come to the conclusion,
that I would rather love myself alone
than hate myself with him. 

-sshiffy